Just these stark words I find

Wow, um Bitch much?

2008-05-08T22:48:00.000-07:00

So my sister totally just tried to bitch me out because I didn't want to wach a movie I didn't want to see and instead do homework so i can graduate. Wow how very lame of you, I am really dissapointed. Anyway, I have homework to do.

I am a terrible student

2008-05-06T15:49:00.000-07:00

Right now I am in my english class doing exactly what i shouldn't. Instead of paying attention, and maybe taking notes, I am just sitting here writting this blog. Well not true, I am playing the Sims. Very entertaining. I am so bored... I want to watch Brothers and Sisters... bah.

Cozy afternoons are always nice

2008-05-02T16:33:00.000-07:00

It's true, they really are. I am laying on my bed. My dog curled at my legs. Watching a movie. The only thing missing is a warm drink.

I am watching the Labyrinth. Amazing movie! I mean seriously, what could be better than Jim Henson puppets and David Bowie? I dare you to tell me!

Today me an my sister went to Skansie Bros. Park and took more photos. Only this time we had a really exspensive camera. I don't notice much of a difference really, but all well.

I guess this was a rather pointless post, but most of them are anyway. I just never know what to put. Anyway, back to my movie.

i dunno anymore...

2008-04-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

Friends.... I guess they come and go. To many of them have gone, not enough have come to fill in the gap. And I don't even want these gaps filled in, just not by new people any way. I'll hear songs and think back to freshman year and think, "Man, I miss those days", second semester was one of the best times of my life. That lunch was great, all my friends had it. Or at least my friends then had it.

Too many are gone now. Some from things I've done, some from things they did, and some, well I guess we went seperate ways or just don't see each other. TCC killed soo many friendships, I hate it. I wish i never did it.

First off, Bree. Damn I wonder if she'll even see this. I know I sent her my link, but who knows if she saved it or ever even looks. That was a great friendship, we had bumps, but who didn't. I don't even think one person is to blame. There was one point where I felt i was being used, like i was being milked for information. I probably over reacted like I do so many times. But it hurt to find out what was going on. It almost very well could have jepordized something very good in my life. It didn't but it still hurt. I have grown past it, I am ready to make ammends but I don't think she is. I want to talk to her on msn when times are hard, or just to catch up. But I don't think we are there. Shit, talking is so strainded between us anyways in person, I doubt it would be better online. Who knows...

Kimberly, we were great friends. Then I got distant, too distant, too fast. I know I hurt you. I am sorry. I feel we are getting to be talking more often now. But then there are times when you treat me pretty bad, most of those times you are with your boyfriend, I don't get it. Sometimes i feel your feelings are mutual and you want to be friends again. Other times I feel you want nothing to do with me. I don't get it. We were great friends and had fun, I want that back. If you don't just let me know so I can move on.

Then there are people like Selina and Lindsay. People who I have just lost contact with. A lot of those problems being not having classes with them. It sucks. I miss hanging out with these people. And I want to reconnect. Hopefully I'll be able to come back to GHHS full time next year. I might have classes with people, who knows. I think these are the friendship losses that bother me the most. Because there is no real reason as to why things have ended. No fights, or dissagreements, or backstabbing. It sucks.

This was just a pointless rant, most people won't even read it. Maybe I'll put my url on myspace and tell people to bookmark it.... we'll see.

Night all.

Happy Birthday to me!

2008-01-27T16:40:00.000-08:00

So Tuesday was my Birthday, and I am now officially 17. Which is good because now when ever me and Brittney go to a movie that happens to be R rated, we don't have to worry about them asking for id. We lucked out with Sweeney Todd.

So my Birthday was fun. Very simple, me and my family just went out to dinner. It was a bummer that Katie had to work, but i still got to see her. What was nice was the it was small present wise as well. I got a cd, a video game, my cousin Joey got me some portable speakers for my nano, and a shirt. Well two shirts if you count the one Brittney gave me for our one month/birthday. So it was fun.

Then on Wednessday I spent the day with Brittney because it was our one month anniversary. I bought her a flower arrangement of daffodils and we hung out at her house because she had to watch her little sisters we couldn't go out to dinner. We went out to dinner on friday and we saw Cloverfield, which was a great movie. Probably the best monster movie hands down.

Tursday was my night with dad, so katie drove me to Seattle and the three of us went to dinner. We had a good time and the food was good. He gave me fourty bucks for my birthday, and that was well spent the following day on dinner.

So I've ha a pretty busy week, and it doesn't show much signs of slowing down next week, but we shall see.

2008-01-27T01:07:00.001-08:00

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
because that was name of his dog
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner gave him a
Valentine signed with a row of X’s
and he had to ask his father what the X’s meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And he was always there to do it

Once on a white piece of paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Autumn”
because that was the name of the season
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left the butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Innocence: A Question”
because that was the question about his girl
And that’s what it was all about
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle’s Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring loudly

That’s why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it “Absolutely Nothing”
Because that’s what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
And a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn’t think
he could reach the kitchen.

(I did not write this, I got it from a book)

Freedom!

2007-12-10T20:48:00.000-08:00

It is ture! Today was my last class of fall quarter! With inly two more weeks untill high school breaks Christmas is looming nearer. I am excited, not as excited as I normally would be on the reason that Bryan won't be here. It won't be the same, but the best will be made of it. I have three more gifts to buy. I need to get my grandma's book, a gift for my step-brother, and a gift for the adinosaur. We have are tree up and decorated, and it even has presents under it! It is starting to get so festive now. We have yet to put up our christmas village, but in due time.

My weekend went pretty well, I had my debate tournament on saturday. We didn't break into finals, but that's fine. Me and my partner have decided to drop the piece we are doing based on lack of area for movement. We found a new piece which could be a good potential for more movement. It's pretty funny as well. It is a shame that the fact that there isn't a lot of movement in our current piece is what will keep us from making finals, because it is really funny. Hopefully this new piece goes well.

Sunday me and my family went to the mall and I looked at hair dye. My sister said that if I bought the dye she would help me colour my hair. I'm going for a red colour, which is annoying because they have two reds. A nice bright one and a darker one. I would like to go for the bright red, but I don't know if it would show as well or if the darker red would be better. We shall wait and see since I have no money to buy it.

As far as today, I had my last English class and finished my paper, turned it in, and gave my presentation. I think the presentation went well, but we shall see. I hope I did good enough to pass, but there is no point instressing about anything now. What is done is done. As far as the rest of my night, well it's done since Heroes isn't on untill some time next year. *tear* So sad. So I am done for the night. Live Long and Prosper!

You... and Everything Else

2007-12-06T02:46:00.000-08:00

I thought I could tell you anything. Come to you with any problem. Not looking for help, not even advice, but just someone to listen. I thought we had a good friendship. But I tell you one thing, and it unwravles two years in two minutes. I find it interesting that of the things I have shared with you, this is the thing that upsets you the most. Seeing as how it is inevitable, you had to know that this would happen eventually. It is something everybody goes through. It hurts that you could just turn your back because of such an unimportant thing. I'm not sorry for what I said, I said nothing wrong. Your words aren't what bother me, what you said means nothing to me, but your actions are what really hurt. I still can't believe that you are ready to throw away a friendship over such a petty thing. I am not waiting for an appology, one is not nessecary. What I am waiting for is for you to talk again. Whenever you are ready I am listening. I hold no grudge, I am not angry, just hurt. Hurt and waiting.

On a much lighter note, today went pretty well. I met with Janice, my therapist. I had a bit of a set back the other day. Sunday was not a good day, I got in an argument with my mother over my term paper. I had been having trouble with finding a topic and went to her for help multiple times to find one, but each time I was fuitless in getting any help. I finally get through to her and she yells at me for waiting so long to get started. I was really angry with her because I had been trying to get help from her for the past two weeks. So with that ontop of the argument with a friend, I was left pretty downtrodden.
As the end of school neared on Monday I was getting very over whelmed, because with my 4:30 and my english class looming nearer, I had no rough draft or anything. I got home after school and burst into tears and was crying uncontrollably for almost two hours, with all the stress added to my unhappyness I felt worthless. Like my life was going astray. So my mom called Janice and she tried to talk to me, but I couldn't speak over my crying. So she told me that she'd call me back in an hour so I'd have time to calm down. We talked through some stuff to get me to a point where i could last untill today. I ended up not going to class because I didn't have anything done. Long story short I got the help I needed from my dad and sister (by the way everyone should read her blog).
So as I was saying I saw Janice today and we worked through what was going on and why I was so down in the dumps, so to speak. I love going to see her, because I always leave feeling better about my self, even if some days that feeling doesn't last long. It is still a great feeling.

Also I have almost finished my Christmas shopping. I have all but two people taken care of. For my little cousin Joe, I bought him some new Wii remote skins, because the ones he has are falling apart. For my mother me and my sibilings are getting her a ring, it's is very pretty, it has three blue saphires in a white gold band. For my dad and Rhonda, I bought them these really cool Starbucks mugs. They are similar to the ones that I got my dad for farther's day. They are made to look like the cups that they serve their dinks in, but the ones i got them for Christmas are made to look like their holliday paper cups. For my sister Katie, well I can't say here because she reads my blog, but I got it from my high schools anual art festival, so I think she will really like it. I still need to get my grandma's gift and something for the step sibiling that i have drawn.

Currently me and my sister are watching Tin Man the SciFi channel miniseries, but it has gotten late and i think it might be bedtime for me. So the rest of the show will have to wait untill tomorrow.

I am...

2007-12-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

I am tall, I am short, I am a red head, I am loving, I am caring, I am hated, I am hateful, I am a friend, I am a son, I am a brother, I am a cousin, I am a nephew, I am a grandchild, I am secure, I am insecure, I am perfect, I am flawed, I am an enemy, I am a force to be reckoned with, I am the most friendly person you will meet, I am courageous, I am timid, I am spontaneous, I am predictable, I am complex, I am obvious, I am a worker, I am a slacker, I respectful, I am Catholic, I am righteous, I am God's child, I am accepting of all, I am bi, I am unique, I am myself, I am NOT you,

I am me, and that is all I will ever be